Bohemia Village Voice

Received from Mrs Jo Hunter (January 2014)

I came across this little gem the other day and wanted to share it with your readers. It was originally penned by Bernard Levin. Mrs Jo Hunter, St Peter’s Road, Bohemia, Sussex.

William Shakespeare

THE BARD OF AVON

If you cannot understand my argument and declare “It’s Greek to me”, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger, if your wish is father to the thought, if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare.

If you have ever refused to budge an inch, or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hookwinked or in a pickle, if have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your Lord and Master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort, or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool’s paradise – why, then be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare.

If you think it is early days and clear out bag and baggage, if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it; if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out, even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play; if you have set your teeth on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then – to give the devil his due – if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head), you are quoting Shakespeare.

Even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I was dead as a doornail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody minded or a blinking idiot, then – By Jove! O Lord! Tut, Tut, For goodness sake, what the devil, but me no buts – it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare !!